I’m Not Who I Was

I love listening to singer/songwriter Brandon Heath. His debut single was “I’m Not Who I Was” and came out all the way back in 2006.  Still to this day it speaks to me. With lyrics like…

“I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I’m not who I was

I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I’m not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I’m not who I was:”

As humans we’re always changing. We learn, we grow, we change.

I am not the same person I was last week. Much less last year or a decade or more ago.

What’s funny though is some people expect you to always be who you were. They have a memory of you or how you reacted, or something you said, or how your personality was and they hold you in that space. They don’t allow themselves to believe that you could have learned from that moment or grown and changed.

I look back on decisions I made.
Things I said.
People I allowed to manipulate or take advantage of me.
Self beliefs that were untrue. 
Hurt I’ve held on to for too long.
Forgiveness I’ve withheld from others.
Forgiveness I’ve withheld from myself.
and so much more.

But I wish some of those people in my days before today, could see me now. I wish I could show them I’m not who I was.

I’m no where near perfect, but I’ve grown.
I still make tons of mistakes.
I still hold onto too much fear and doubt.

But I’m learning to own my voice.
To own the gifts I bring to the table.
To own the fact that I matter, even when they make me feel like I don’t.

And today I hope you remember that YOU aren’t who YOU were.

And if someone is trying to hold onto to you that you once were, that’s on them.

You keep on learning and growing. 

Find forgiveness for yourself and for those who have hurt you.
Believe that you have something to offer this world.
Choose love over hate.
Listen more than you speak.
Remember that everyone has something valuable within them.

Today is your day. Own it.

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