There’s a phrase my wife and I have started using a lot lately. It’s simple, just three little words, but it’s slowly becoming one of my favorite reminders of how I want to live my life.

“How lucky are we?“

Sometimes we say it when something beautiful happens. When we’re watching our boys laugh together, enjoying a quiet moment as a family, or looking around at the life we’ve built. It’s our way of acknowledging just how much we have to be thankful for.

But other times? Well, let’s just say the tone is a little different.

When the house is a disaster five minutes after we cleaned it? How lucky are we? When the boys are arguing over something ridiculous for the seventeenth time that day? How lucky are we? When we’re exhausted, overwhelmed, running late, and nothing seems to be going according to plan? You guessed it. How lucky are we?

And yes, sometimes it’s said with a healthy dose of sarcasm. But here’s what I’ve started to notice. Even when we say it out of frustration, those three little words have a way of reminding us of something we might have otherwise forgotten. We really are lucky.

The messy house means we have a home filled with life. The arguing boys mean we have two incredible children who are growing, learning, and figuring out the world. The overwhelming schedule often means we have opportunities, relationships, and experiences we once hoped and prayed for. That doesn’t mean those moments aren’t frustrating. They absolutely are. But I’ve been learning that two things can be true at once.

We can be exhausted and grateful. We can be overwhelmed and blessed. We can wish things were easier while still recognizing how fortunate we are to have the life we do.

And I think that’s where the real power of this little phrase comes in.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how easily our minds gravitate toward what’s wrong. The one thing that didn’t go according to plan. The person who frustrated us. The task we didn’t finish. The thing someone else has that we wish we had too. If we’re not careful, we can spend so much time noticing what’s missing that we overlook what’s right in front of us.

And the scary part? We can do that while living in the middle of things we once desperately wanted.

Think about that for a moment. The life we’re complaining about today might contain answered prayers from years ago. The responsibilities that exhaust us might be connected to opportunities we once dreamed of having. The ordinary moments we rush through might someday become the memories we wish we could experience just one more time.

I don’t want to become so consumed with the inconveniences of my life that I forget to appreciate the beauty of it. I don’t want to miss the joy because I’m too focused on the noise. And I certainly don’t want to spend my days constantly looking ahead to what’s next while overlooking everything that’s already here.

What I love about “How lucky are we?” is that it doesn’t require some massive life transformation. It’s just a simple question that can interrupt the direction our thoughts are headed.

When I catch myself complaining, it gives me an opportunity to reconsider what I’m focusing on. When something feels inconvenient, it challenges me to look at the bigger picture. And when life feels ordinary, repetitive, or even a little chaotic, it reminds me that there’s often something worth appreciating in the middle of it all.

Not because every situation is wonderful. Not because we should ignore the hard things or pretend everything is fine. Life is hard sometimes, and there are seasons when finding something to be thankful for takes a lot more effort than others.

But gratitude doesn’t have to erase frustration to change our perspective.

Sometimes the circumstances don’t change at all. The kids are still arguing. The laundry is still piled up. The to-do list is still longer than the hours in the day. But something inside us shifts when we choose to look at those moments differently. We stop seeing only the burden and start recognizing the blessing that might be sitting right beside it.

And the more we practice that shift, the more natural it can become.

So my wife and I are going to keep saying it. Sometimes sincerely. Sometimes with a laugh. And yes, sometimes through gritted teeth. Because the more we say it, the more I hope we train ourselves to actually see it.

How lucky are we?

Maybe that’s a question worth asking yourself this week, too. Not just when everything is going right, but especially when things feel frustrating, overwhelming, or ordinary. Take a moment to look around and consider what you might be overlooking.

Because sometimes the biggest change we need isn’t in our circumstances. It’s in what we’re choosing to notice.