The Silence of Loss

I think we’ve all experienced loss in one form or another.

Whether we lost….

  • a friend
  • a family member
  • a pet
  • a child
  • a job
  • a relationship

It doesn’t matter what it is, loss is loss.

What I have found though is how deafening the silence of loss can be.

When you lose someone (or something), there’s what feels like a gaping hole. A hole that never completely goes away even though you can find ways to temporarily cover it up or hide it from others.

But that hole can easily become uncovered. And when it does it’s like it’s screaming at you without making a sound. It’s like a glaring reminder of what no longer exists.

I find that hole often uncovering itself in my life since the unexpected loss of my mother over 3 years ago. There have been days where I’ve been able to cover the hole her loss created. Put a nice rug over it. Slide a piece of furniture on top. Convince myself that the pain is gone. That I’ve moved on and the hole created by the loss no longer exists.

The something will happen. Usually unexpected. 

For example, this past weekend we took our first vacation with the boys. And our first vacation since February 2020. It was fantastic. We rented a lake house near our home and just disappeared for four days.

But while there, and the boys got to get in a pool for the first time, out of nowhere it hit me…..the hole was uncovered. All I could think about was how much my mom would have loved the home, the pool, the lake, and seeing her twin grandsons swim for the first time.

I was sure I had secured the rug over the hole. I was positive the furniture I placed over the hole was too heavy to be moved. But just like that, a small gust of wind blew all my work of hiding the loss away. And I was faced with the loss.

Because you see, loss doesn’t just go away. We live with it every day.

Today maybe your loss feels so loud that it’s deafening. 
Maybe you don’t know how to handle the grief. How to push through the pain.

Maybe today you just needed to read this to know you’re not alone. That grief isn’t meant to be hidden. That those holes that are left behind by grief have to be exposed so that we can embrace the pain and move with it.

Today, don’t let the silence of the grief drown you. Speak to it. Embrace it. And fill that hole with new memories of joy.

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