15 Oct The Enemy of Comparison
I think we’ve all been there. We’ve all found ourselves comparing ourselves to someone else.
But I think it can be so much bigger than that simple comparison.
If you’re like me you’ve found yourself comparing your own skills (or perceived lack thereof) to others. You see a successful author, parent, teacher, speaker, etc and immediately you think “what do they have that I don’t”. Or you may think the opposite direction of “I wish I had it all together like them”, “I wish I could speak like they do”, “I wish I was organized like them”, “I wish I had the success they do”. And we spiral on and on and on.
But you see, comparison isn’t just about the physical. We sometimes compare ourselves on an emotional level too.
We wonder why they seem to have everything come easy. How can they always be smiling, when it constantly feels like your world is falling apart? They seem so strong. They seem so put together. Why did their parent get to live with no cancer? Why were they able to have children? Why does no on in their family struggle with addiction that is tearing a family apart.
What I’ve learned time and time again with comparison are two things.
First off, what you see isn’t always what truly is. What I mean by that is often the people who SEEM put together, successful, and everything comes easy to them, often care an incredibly heavy load that isn’t shared with the world at large. Nor does it have to be.
And on a side note, I’ve learned that there are some really successful people who are jerks. Flat out. And I was so disappointed when I met them. And I’d much rather retain who I am then lose myself in success.
The second thing I’ve learned is that when we consistently focus on what we DON’T have, we quickly lose sight of all the things we DO have.
Now I know, when you’re in a rough patch, it’s so hard to see the good. But it’s always there. Always.
Maybe we need to start a daily thankful list. Maybe we have people in our lives who hold us accountable for what we choose to focus our emotions on. Maybe we need to spend more time pouring into other instead of focusing on us.
I know, I know. It is much easier said than done. But if you’ve caught yourself comparing a lot lately, you know that comparison is your enemy not your friend.
It can destroy you from the inside out if you’re not careful. We need all of us. You are worthy and the life you lead is a life that was designed with purpose and for a reason. Even when you can’t see it.