04 Feb Taking Back Control
It was time.
Time for me to take back control of my life.
What do I mean? Well, I’m a people pleaser. To a fault. Like I lose sleep when I think I’ve upset or disappointed someone.
It’s not quite to the extent that I will change myself to make someone like me though.
But over the last few years I’ve watched my emotional and physical self fall to wayside. I lost myself and my own self-worth.
And over the last few months/year I’ve worked very hard to keep taking back control of my own life.
I left a school I LOVED, with people I loved,
but a work environment that was harming me more than I realized.
I cut ties with a friend, who became a business partner,
who turned out to not be someone I thought they were.
I started to begin to eat better.
I began to find ways to take time for me.
and Sunday, I joined a gym.
Yeah, that last one is a BIG one for me. Well they’re all big ones, but that last one was hard.
I’m an introvert.
Because of being that introvert, I don’t do well in crowds or loud settings and tend to hide haha.
Which leads to me often being alone in a hotel room at events.
Or people feel like “todd’s a big deal and probably has tons of plans” hahahahah (not true!)
So joining a gym was terrifying, but necessary. I always say we aren’t learning if we aren’t uncomfortable. So I decided to make myself uncomfortable and take back my physical health.
And yesterday, I went to my first class! It was a Spin/Ab class and you know what? Though I didn’t sleep the night before, and about had a panic attack before I went it, it went great!
There was a really nice lady who helped me set everything up. And then afterwards I was so proud of myself for following through, even if I could barely walk out of the building!!
Now I can’t wait for the next one! Though I’m still nervous haha.
Why do I share this all with you?
You might be feeling like things are spiraling out of control. You might feel like it’s crumbling in your hands. You might feel like you can’t fix anything or have anything turn out right.
And you know what?
Yes, you’re wrong.
There are things you can control. That’s what I had to learn.
I COULD leave a place that I loved but was causing me to not take care of my mental & physical health.
I COULD cut ties with a toxic person.
I COULD choose to start eating better or drinking less soda.
I COULD join a gym.
Find what you CAN control today, and focus on that. It may be tiny and seem insignificant. But every step forward is STILL a step forward.
I believe in you.
It’s time for you to take back control.