Expectation vs. Desire

If you’ve been on my blog for a minute you know how often I talk about therapy and how life changing it has been for me.

A few weeks ago I was talking with my therapist and what he told me sticks so deep with me, that I had to share with you.

In our session we were talking about someone in my life who I was finding myself frustrated by quite often (no not my wife, I ain’t got no drama there haha).

The things this person would do, or wouldn’t do. The way they would behave. And how I was constantly finding myself having little to no patience for them when I had to interact with them.

When I was expressing this to my therapist he asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks. He said “these things you want them to do, or what you want them to say, have you expressed that to them? Is it a clear expectation you have with them or is it just a desire of yours that they may not be aware of?”


I had never thought of that.

This entire time, the way I wanted them to behave was a DESIRE of mine. I had never set out expectations. I had never myself clear. I essentially was getting frustrated because they couldn’t read my mind.

It rocked my world.

Now whenever I find myself frustrated or upset by an interaction with someone or when I’m feeling “let down”, I stop and take a moment to see if my emotions are tied to an expectation I’ve set WITH them or if instead it’s just a desire of mine…which is completely on me.

Maybe this opened your eyes a bit today, like it did mine.

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